guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Randomize
