I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
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