im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Are we still banned from the library?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
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This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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