i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
