So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
