Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
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