Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
