brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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