worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
