tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
