I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
