my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
