I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
