i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize