Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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