When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
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