question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
