I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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