My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
