I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
