Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
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