I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Randomize
