she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
