I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
