At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
