Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
