You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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