what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
