what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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