o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
