Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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