Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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