Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That's intense
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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