Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Is that strawberry winking at me??
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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