great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
