I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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