I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Randomize
