theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
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Pass out mid-funnel last night.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
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Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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