if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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