would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
