She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Randomize
