That's when you crack a 10am beer
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
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