Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
