she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize