you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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