How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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