All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
