garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Randomize
