she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
