white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Randomize
