i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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