he puts the penis in happiness.
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
