youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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