What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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