why didn't you poke me back
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
