my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
