There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need water and some morals
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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