at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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