If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize