Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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