How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
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fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
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His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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