I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Randomize
