my vag is so smooth its legendary
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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