You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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