I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize