The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
